Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wednesday Syndrome

I hate Wednesdays. Wednesdays are like ticks that enjoy sucking your blood. Wednesdays are vectors. Wednesdays carry other diseases and infect you with depressive thoughts. Wednesdays slowly and painfully suck the life out of you. Wednesdays want to wipe out any traces of life from Earth. Wednesdays like to make you suffer. Wednesdays live on your misery. If you were to choke on a little, cute peanut and die in a very ironic and twisted way, you know who would enjoy it? Wednesdays. Wednesdays like to make you feel trapped. When the days of the week were distributed, Wednesdays picked the Wednesday on purpose, so that you would be just as far in the workdays as you'd be out. Wednesdays are dangerous. Wednesdays love to play with space-time continuum. Wednesdays are secret time benders. Wednesdays slow the time so they would have more time to carry out their subtle plan to take over the world. Wednesdays don't ever want to end and leave their place to Thursdays, because Wednesdays hate Thursdays. Wednesdays hate everyone. Wednesdays hate everything. Wednesdays hate you. Wednesdays always pretend. Wednesdays pretend to be good, so no one understands how malicious they actually are. No one but me. No one sees Wednesdays for what they really are except me and that's why Wednesdays torture me more than they do anyone. Wednesdays can never be trusted. If the Wednesday forecast tells you that it's going to be sunny, do not believe it. Wednesdays intentionally spread fake sunny news so that you would be caught in a storm and get soaked. Wednesdays like to catch you off guard and then laugh about it. Wednesdays secretly want to see you get caught up in a tornado and disappear. When your boyfriend cheats on you with a bitch and then dumps you for her, guess which day it is? It's Wednesday. Wednesdays never sleep. Wednesdays never get tired. Wednesdays are selfish. Wednesdays only think of themselves. Do you know why we hate Monday Syndrome? Because Wednesdays framed Mondays for a crime they didn't commit and now Mondays are charged with Monday Syndrome. Mondays are innocent. It should be Wednesday Syndrome. Wednesdays always watch you. Wednesdays stalk you. Wednesdays spy on you. When you go to your room on the Wednesday night to do your man/woman business, do you think you are alone? Well think twice. You are not alone. Wednesdays are with you. Wednesdays are watching you. Wednesdays are watching you do it. Wednesdays are creepy. Wednesdays are your recurring nightmares. Wednesdays know your deepest, darkest secrets. Wednesdays like to blackmail you. Wednesdays know your worst weaknesses. Wednesdays are your worst weakness. Wednesdays lay low and wait for the perfect opportunity to strike and destroy you. Wednesdays are to be stayed away from. Wednesdays should cease to exist. Wednesdays are a huge threat to humanity. Wednesdays are sick.
Why am I so grumpy, anxious and out of my mind today? Because it's Wednesday!

No comments:

Post a Comment