Friday, December 28, 2012

How To Do Your Hair In 20 Steps

Attention: This is a girly post! If you can't handle the sweetness level of rainbows and unicorns, abort now!

Today I want to write about something that we, the part of the world population who has boobs (I don't want to use the v. word), have been struggling with in the mornings throughout our entire lives: How to do our hair.

We're soon gonna celebrate the New Year... New Year's Eve... New Year's Eve's Evening... Uhm. Whatever. You get the point. And I want everyone to look fabulous, so I'll just give some tips on how to do your hair. 

I noticed that there are some certain mistakes that girls tend to make when they try to do their hair. First, your hair is not your enemy. It is a part of you and you need to embrace it, no matter what. Second, try to be gentle to it, your hair doesn't like to be bullied. Third, don't just do your hair right away, this is what you do wrong. 

Here is how to do your hair in 20 easy steps:

1. Introduce yourself to your hair, it works! Example: Hello hair I'm Dirim, how do you do?
2. Get to know your hair. Learn what its interest are. See what it likes or not. 
3. Take your hair out to a casual date, go to a movie or something. 
4. Let your hair know that you're interested in it.
5. Talk to your hair on the phone. Your hair likes to talk on the phone, believe me.
6. Try to get to know your hair better. Understand what makes it happy, angry and sad. 
7. Take your hair out to a nice, quite dinner. Communicate with your hair. This is the key to everything.
8. Be patient. Don't push things if your hair doesn't want it. Take it slow.
9. Take your hair out to a bar: Drink, laugh and have fun with your hair.
10. Don't treat your hair like it's an object. Your hair has it's own ideas, thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge them.  
11.Respect your hair. Or at least, act like you respect it. 
12. Show your hair how well you get along.
13. Give your hair the impression that you are perfect for each other.
14. Make your hair happy.
15. Invite your hair to your place.
16. Cook your hair some yummy food, serve alcohol on dinner.
17. Get your hair drunk.
18. Take advantage of this fact and start to kiss your hair. Your hair will kiss back.
19. Take your hair's cloths off. 
20. Do your hair.

And this, my dear friends, is how you actually do your hair. Now you know.

P.S. At this point, you have two options:
You can either have a happy, healthy and long-lasting relationship with your hair,
All of a sudden, you can start to ignore your hair and make your hair cry.

It's up to you.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Wednesday Syndrome

I hate Wednesdays. Wednesdays are like ticks that enjoy sucking your blood. Wednesdays are vectors. Wednesdays carry other diseases and infect you with depressive thoughts. Wednesdays slowly and painfully suck the life out of you. Wednesdays want to wipe out any traces of life from Earth. Wednesdays like to make you suffer. Wednesdays live on your misery. If you were to choke on a little, cute peanut and die in a very ironic and twisted way, you know who would enjoy it? Wednesdays. Wednesdays like to make you feel trapped. When the days of the week were distributed, Wednesdays picked the Wednesday on purpose, so that you would be just as far in the workdays as you'd be out. Wednesdays are dangerous. Wednesdays love to play with space-time continuum. Wednesdays are secret time benders. Wednesdays slow the time so they would have more time to carry out their subtle plan to take over the world. Wednesdays don't ever want to end and leave their place to Thursdays, because Wednesdays hate Thursdays. Wednesdays hate everyone. Wednesdays hate everything. Wednesdays hate you. Wednesdays always pretend. Wednesdays pretend to be good, so no one understands how malicious they actually are. No one but me. No one sees Wednesdays for what they really are except me and that's why Wednesdays torture me more than they do anyone. Wednesdays can never be trusted. If the Wednesday forecast tells you that it's going to be sunny, do not believe it. Wednesdays intentionally spread fake sunny news so that you would be caught in a storm and get soaked. Wednesdays like to catch you off guard and then laugh about it. Wednesdays secretly want to see you get caught up in a tornado and disappear. When your boyfriend cheats on you with a bitch and then dumps you for her, guess which day it is? It's Wednesday. Wednesdays never sleep. Wednesdays never get tired. Wednesdays are selfish. Wednesdays only think of themselves. Do you know why we hate Monday Syndrome? Because Wednesdays framed Mondays for a crime they didn't commit and now Mondays are charged with Monday Syndrome. Mondays are innocent. It should be Wednesday Syndrome. Wednesdays always watch you. Wednesdays stalk you. Wednesdays spy on you. When you go to your room on the Wednesday night to do your man/woman business, do you think you are alone? Well think twice. You are not alone. Wednesdays are with you. Wednesdays are watching you. Wednesdays are watching you do it. Wednesdays are creepy. Wednesdays are your recurring nightmares. Wednesdays know your deepest, darkest secrets. Wednesdays like to blackmail you. Wednesdays know your worst weaknesses. Wednesdays are your worst weakness. Wednesdays lay low and wait for the perfect opportunity to strike and destroy you. Wednesdays are to be stayed away from. Wednesdays should cease to exist. Wednesdays are a huge threat to humanity. Wednesdays are sick.
Why am I so grumpy, anxious and out of my mind today? Because it's Wednesday!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Weird Childhood Crushes, Serial Killers and Masks

So, Dexter is coming to an end, and I've decided to dedicate this post to him. No need to be alarmed though, there won't be any spoilers, just some QQing about how much I love Dexter and don’t want it to end, and some random thoughts on serial killers, I guess.

Call me weird but ever since I was a kid, I've been amazed by serial killers. Well, the fictional ones, mostly. As a child, I would constantly watch horror movies and every single time, I would fall in love with the serial killer in the movie. I've always had a thing for masked ones especially. When people asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would even joke about it and say "I want to be a serial killer when I'm 30!" (Yes, I'm THAT weird, get over it). Now that I think about it, I haven't done much in my career choice,  but hey, I still have 6 more years to practice and perfect it right? (*insert evil laughter here*) Anyways, my mom used to forbid me from watching horror movies, because they would affect me badly, but I would always find my way into watching them and I still carry the consequences of it as a part of me: I can never, ever sleep in the dark, and I'm drop dead scared of being in the dark, alone.

When I grew up and became a teenager, horror movies turned to horror books. This time, it was not the looks (!), but the brains that impressed me about serial killers. I wanted to learn how their brains worked, wanted to understand their ways of thinking. I even wanted to meet one in person and ask him/her questions to get to know them better, in person. My interest in masks remained unchanged though, it just expanded to include different type of media, such as the music band Slipknot (don't judge me, okay?). 

Now I'm 24 and this mask obsession still grows on me. It's now spread to characters in video games, such as Ezio in Assassin's Creed series. (I know it's a hood! It still counts since you can't see half of his face, so shut up.)

I'll be a sweet girl and give you a secret. For the boys out there who like me but are too shy to open up to me, here is an insider tip, just wear a mask and I'm all yours.

*A wild weird horse mask guy appears*: 'Sup babe?

Oookay, I take back everything I said about masks.
This thing is... It's just... I mean... Seriously, what the hell is that? You are a disgrace to the mask world, horse mask!

Ahem, back to my original point... Which I'm not sure if I even have one anymore... You know what? I'm done. This was supposed to be a post on Dexter, but it turned out be a really meaningless, creepy, serial killer and horse mask post. How can a post can stray off this way? Go home post, you're drunk. I'm calling it a night.

But this isn't over, Dexter. I WILL write about you.

To be continued...

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Amnesia: The Dark.. What?

As some of you may already know but most of you don't, I love playing video games. Last summer, when I was bored with the games I had and wanted to play something new, I came across something fabulous, Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

For people who don't know, it's a first person adventure survival horror game and to my opinion, one of the best among its genre. The story, game-play, atmosphere and sounds build up and make it a very frightening and fun game to play. 

The game takes place in a dark, spooky environment, and the sounds, such as the wind or phantom footsteps make it even more creepy. The growling of the monsters mixed up with human screams keeps you at edge all the time. The protagonist, Daniel, gradually loses his sanity if he stays too long in the dark and this affects your game-play, too. When he sees a monster or stays in the dark, his sanity starts to decrease, at that point, his heartbeat rate starts to increase and he starts panting, which makes you wait for something really scary to happen at any moment. In addition, when his sanity decreases even more, his vision, (also your vision since it's a first person point of view game) starts to get blurry, which when adds up with the creepy sounds and surroundings, scares the hell out of you. When he completely loses his sanity, he blacks out, falls down, you can even see him blinking, trying to stay awake and keep his eyes open. And if you see a monster coming to you when he tries to regain conscious, lying in the open completely helpless, just leave him there, shut down your computer and run for your life.

As for the adventure part, I think the key point of the puzzles in an adventure game is their difficulty. If they are too easy and too obvious to solve, it's not a challenge for you anymore and you get bored. If they are too hard to solve, you turn to Google or Youtube and read/watch some walkthroughs, then it's not a challenge for you anymore and you get bored, in addition to the game being spoiled for you. The puzzles in Amnesia aren't too hard to solve, in fact, we can even say they are rather easy, but still, the horror factor in the game makes them balanced. Although you get a grip of what to do next, you can't just rush to do it, because obviously, since it's a horror game, there may be monsters around any corner or behind any door or on any super-duper creepy, dark corridor. And this is one of the things that makes the game exciting, and scary. Definitely scary. No need to kid myself, there may have been times that I chickened out and played in a increased-gamma and lowered-sound atmosphere, as well as switching on ALL the lights in the house. Because I also lose my sanity in the dark, just like Daniel.

Also, the active storytelling is one of it's great features. The protagonist suffers from -wait for it- Amnesia (surprise!)  and as you progress, he slowly starts to remember things. He sometimes just hears a conversation that took place in the past, sometimes you phase out and watch an event happening as he remembers. All these allow you to gradually understand the story as you play, while still making the story very mysterious.

What I don't like about Amnesia though, is the ending. For a game so brilliant, the ending could have been better. I, myself,  have written a hundred endings to Amnesia in my mind, since I played it last summer. Still, the fact that the game being so awesome in general, makes me ignore the frustration at the end.

All in all, Amnesia is a great game and made my summer. Though it saved me from countless boring evenings,  it is not a hero. It is a silent guardian. A watchful protector. It is Amnesia: The Dark Knight. Wait.. What? 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Ready or Not, Here I Come!

Hello everyone!

I've had the urge to create a blog for a really long time, however, I've never rolled up my sleeves, until now. It was because I always wanted it to be perfect, I wanted to focus on one certain topic that I like, but couldn't ever managed to decide on that topic because every time I thought "that's it", I realized that I equally wanted to write about something else, too. Then I noticed this was holding me back from creating a blog altogether. Instead, I've decided to go with the flow now, write about whatever I want without restraining myself. So this blog is pretty much going to be like me: erratic, messy and random. It's gonna be about bits and pieces, about nothing in particular, about anything that comes to my mind, about everything I want to write, all at once. And I'm hoping to pull some of you into my dreamagnetic field as well. 
Ready or not, here I come!